Today’s young men are overly feminized, indecisive, binge drinking good-for-nothings who need a backbone and a brain. Or so my grandpa might say. For those of us who endeavor to rise above that description and desire to achieve real manhood, Tom Chiarella has a few things we can work on to get there. My favorite?
29. Understand quantum physics well enough that he can accept that a quarter might, at some point, pass straight through the table when dropped.
Sometimes the laws of physics aren’t laws at all. Read The Quantum World: Quantum Physics for Everyone, by Kenneth W. Ford.
Followed closely by:
30. Feign interest. Good place to start: quantum physics.
It’s Esquire, so you know going in there will be questionable content in the general area. You’ve been warned.
So I was running late to work last week, on a day that I really couldn’t be late, and of course, that was the day I got a speeding ticket. Now, I haven’t been ticketed for a long, long time so I qualify for STOP class. But the ticket was for only $69. STOP class is $75, and will cost me a Saturday, of which I don’t have many available.
I’ve never actually gone to court for one of these, but does it work? Will I actually have a chance to get out of my ticket if I go? I had a friend tell me that alot of times the cops don’t go, and if they aren’t there, you can’t get charged. Which makes sense when you think about it. What about those speed traps, a month later, do those cops go sit in court all day long and wait to see if anyone shows up?
I’ve also heard this interesting theory. I was told that if you send in your payment for the ticket, plus an extra $5 or so, they end up sending you a check back for the overpayment. If you were to then throw away the overpayment check, the ticket doesn’t go onto your record as a citation, but rather as an incomplete transaction. What?
That can’t really work can it? Well, we’re about to find out ladies and gentlemen because I am writing and sending a $75 check to those lovely people down on that county court. Keep your fingers crossed.
What do you think I should do? Let me hear about it in the comments.
Meet Tony and Jeff. They’re a couple of video game characters. Supporting characters. Tony is enrolled in a boarding school, and Zero is, well, a robot. The above image is a very old comic by yours truly (although since the copyright doesn’t include a date we don’t know how old, but I digress), in which I was expressing my frustration at people on the internet postulating theories about these characters’ lifestyle preferences. It’s so old that it predates Shigesato Itoi, the creator of the game EarthBound (which Tony is from) pretty much saying in an interview that, yeah, Tony subscribes to an alternative lifestyle.
Check it, I was picking through Puddle Of Mudds’ song Psycho on the piano the other night, and realized that the song, as far as a I can tell, is composed entirely of major chords. Mind you, it was only by memory of hearing the song, so I don’t have concrete evidence, but pretty sure.
Watch the music video here and see what you think.
Hey there, New Guy #2 coming at you by the name of David, er, of the Graham variety. I’ll probably be quite a bit less “tech” than Jared, and a bit more video game/random oriented, if you’d like a rough approximation of what to expect from me. In fact, this post here, should give you a good indication of what to expect, so without further ado, let’s hit it!
I want to look at the perennial little brother today, the man in green, Luigi Mario. Oh yeah, but first-
SPOILER WARNING! I’ll be talking about several games featuring Luigi, old and new, so if your paranoid about learning something you’d rather not, this is your last warning. So there.
So I was talking to an buddy on Facebook’s new chat client the other day. We were reminiscing about our days being single and playing World of Warcraft way to much, and he told me about his current MMO habit. A browser based MMO/RTS set at the height of the Roman empire called Travian.
Travian boasts over eighty-nine thousand active members over their 6 different servers, which an average of fifteen hundred online per server at any given time. Gameplay revolves around collect four different resources (Wood, clay, iron, and wheat) to build and upgrade you village and surrounding land. To say that the gameplay is slow would be an understatement, but for those who like to micromanage and don’t mind leaving another tab open while they work, Travian is a great way to waste time that could be spent working.
That’s right, our benevolent alien overlords have arrived (or maybe the Autobots. We can only hope). And we were worrying about the upcoming presidential election. Pshaw.
Drudge has a headline right now that reads: “Mystery Lights Over Florida, Arizona; Residents Spooked.”
Residents in Florida and Arizona reported seeing a strange pattern of lights last night (Monday, April 21, 2008), and a few got some fuzzy video for us to peruse.
What does it all mean? Probably nothing. We’re probably going to get a very vague statement from the government Sector 7 stating that they were running test maneuvers of some kind and the whole thing will fade away. Still, flashbacks to Independence Day anyone?
Apparently, the presidential candidates will be appearing on WWE tonight. The 3 of them will be paraphrasing popular catch phrases from past wrestlers in recorded speeches, or smackdowns, if you will. The only one of them that got me to smile was this little diddy:
“To the special interests who’ve been setting the agenda in Washington for too long and to all the forces of division and distraction that has stopped us from making progress, for the American people, I’ve got one question: Do you smell what Barack is cooking?”
Yeah… how proud does that make YOU do be an American, eh?
That’s the total value of the 11 games I put up on eBay this morning. I had an epiphany last night when I was staring at my shelf full of games. I was thinking, “Boy, it’d sure be nice to turn all that into cash.” It was about 2 AM at the time, which is as everyone knows the perfect time to post mass auctions on eBay (ok, maybe not).
I listed all but one of my games at or above the price I paid for it, so assuming they sell I’ll be making a healthy profit off letting them sit on my shelf for a few weeks. The first game sold 8 minutes after I listed it, and I had another one sell about an hour ago.
I guess this means I ending up agreeing with you Aaron, I need to start selling stuff on eBay instead of just buying.
This past Friday I came down with some weird bug that gave me a bad sore throat and a fever around 100-101. As a consequence, I’ve had absolutely nothing to do but lay around for the past three days. As a consequence of that, I came up with the top 5 things to do when you’re laying around with a fever. Are you excited? I know I am.
5. Listen to Podcasts. Listening to a podcast is an easy way to keep yourself from complete boredom. I recommend 1up Radio.
4. Demand more cowbell.
3. Play Noiz2sa and rRootage on the iPhone or iPod Touch. These games can’t hold up very well under normal circumstancs, but they take on a whole new aspect when your body is doing its best to cook your brain in your skull.
2. Pop some pills. Need I say more?
1. Post on Hijinks. Lucid brain activity is overrated when it comes to posting on this site. Heck, the most entertaining stuff we say is born out of sleep deprivation and high amounts of caffiene. Posting with a fever is the next logical step. Granted, judging from the quality if this post one might have reason to disagree with me.
