Hijinks Movie Reviews: Killers

Tom Selleck is great in just about everything, and the man actually looks good with a mustache. Catherine O’Hara is always funny, she can steal a scene at the drop of a hat and always plays crazy and plays it well. Whoever thought it would be a good idea to pair these two as a couple was brilliant. They are one of those screen couples that are totally believable and just make sense, they’re that cool old couple that everyone loves to hang around.

Ashton Kutcher is a good looking man and does pretty well with the funny stuff. The more physical the humor, typically the better he can carry it. Katherine Heigl is one of those really regular looking hot people (that’s how I described her to my wife). She can be funny sometimes but she isn’t really a lead. They make a semi-believable couple, good enough for a movie like this anyway.

Ashton Kutcher can not pull off being an assassin. No way, no how, no in a million years. That’s just the beginning of what was wrong with Killers, notice how I spent the opening paragraph talking about the supporting actors. Join me after the break if you want all the nasty details.

At this point, I’m honestly disappointed that I saved this review for last. We’ve had such a great month with the movie reviews and I have to finish it on a dull note like this one. Killers was just… not good. The premise was dumb, the setup was decent and the execution was horrible. Chuck had an episode kinda similar to this movie only it was done much better, and Chuck is a more believable spy than Ashton Kutcher was able to pull off at any point in this movie.

I really did want to like this movie because I like all these actors individually, especially Selleck and O’Hara. And honestly, the best scenes in the movie were tied to one of those two in some way, if not for them, I would be hard pressed to give this movie a 1. There were a number of scenes that even I knew were executed poorly. The fight scenes were terrible, all I do is watch MMA and I would do a better job choreographing a fight scene, heck, my wife even knew better moves than what were used! The action scenes were nothing you haven’t scene a hundred times, and on top of that they were done poorly.

I could probably come up with a few more sentences tearing this movie apart… but why bother? Don’t waste your time with this one unless you are a big fan of Kutcher or Heigl.

Dave’s Quick Hits: I really felt bad that Tom Selleck and Catherine O’Hara had to be in such a bad movie, they were the only bright spots in the movie and were very underused, 2 out of 10
Thoughts From The Better Half: It should have been funnier and completely unrealistic, 3 out of 10
Rotten Tomatoes Score: 12% – Dull, formulaic, and chemistry-free, Killers is an action/comedy that’s largely bereft of thrills or laughs.

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Dave Sack

has been tasked with the great responsibility of covering all things entertainment related. His career is a quest of epic proportions. What that quest is ultimately leading toward is a mystery to us all. His family (wife & son), football, coaching, movies, and video games take up most of his time.

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