Hijinks Inc.

Category: Fred Smith

  • 75 Skills Every Man Should Master

    Today’s young men are overly feminized, indecisive, binge drinking good-for-nothings who need a backbone and a brain. Or so my grandpa might say. For those of us who endeavor to rise above that description and desire to achieve real manhood, Tom Chiarella has a few things we can work on to get there. My favorite?

    29. Understand quantum physics well enough that he can accept that a quarter might, at some point, pass straight through the table when dropped.

    Sometimes the laws of physics aren’t laws at all. Read The Quantum World: Quantum Physics for Everyone, by Kenneth W. Ford.

    Followed closely by:

    30. Feign interest. Good place to start: quantum physics.

    It’s Esquire, so you know going in there will be questionable content in the general area. You’ve been warned.

    The 75 Skills Every Man Should Master


  • Adventures in Applecare: iPod Touch Dead Spot (Conclusion)

    The Story
    The Update
    The Conclusion

    So I got my iPod back today, and while the email I got on Monday told me Apple couldn’t reproduce my problem, just being in the factory must have done something because the dead spot is no more. The canned letter they sent back with it said that “The perceived fault may have been resolved as a consequence of the test procedure itself (internal iPod software update, reset and restore operations, etc).” Hey, whatever works, I’m sure not complaining.

    Now to jailbreak it again..

  • Excuse me while I..whip this (Wii) out..

    [Insert screams here.]

    I’ve never been much of a console gamer. The last console I owned was a Playstation, and I bought that a good three years after the PS2 came out. Before that I had owned an original NES, a Super NES, and an Nintendo 64 (all bought at least five years after they came out of course). Amazingly enough I’ve never considered myself a Nintendo fan until I just typed that out. My, the things we discover about ourselves.
    Self-discovery aside, last weekend I decided to cash in my PSP and library of PSP games (farewell Crisis Core!) to get a Wii. Suffice to say I’ve been late to the video game party all my life, but after this latest purchase I feel like I’m up to date (only two years late! Yes!). I finally own a current system. The joy! The glee! The expensive games! Admittedly I bought it mostly for Smash Bros and Wii Sports, but the fact that Guitar Hero 3 and Mario Galaxy were bundled with the system I bought was not..unpleasurable.
    The Wii isn’t a console for the hardcore gamer. Granted, it doesn’t need to be. After selling out for almost two years straight, the idea that the Wii is just a “fad” or a “trend” is less a theory and now more of a fanciful dream. Now that Nintendo has ironed out most of the kinks, the Wii is ensconced as the quintessential party system.

    Did I mention I bought it so I could bring it to parties and play with my girlfriend? Whoops, I think I just fell into a large demographic.

  • Adventures in Applecare: iPod Touch Dead Spot (Strike one)

    After two days at the factory, Apple has informed me that they could not reproduce my problem. I knew I should have included brightly colored stickers and instructions. Now I’m stuck driving two hours to my nearest Apple store and hopefully having them replace my iPod for me.

  • Adventures In Applecare: iPod Touch Dead Spot

    In previous episodes we’ve seen how our intrepid (Apple) customer service reps have battled malfunctioning iPod Nanos and Macbook Pros, overcoming obstacles to please their ever needy customers (Aaron and I). In this installment we’ll face them with a new problem. What happens when you take the touch out of an iPod Touch? Find out after the jump. (more…)