Are you an avid fan of Electronic Gaming Monthly? Are you a rabid Nintendo fanboy? Do you have too much disposable income?
If you answered yes to any of these questions, have I got a deal for you. I’m currently eBaying all 12 collectable covers from EGM’s February issue. These covers feature 12 characters from the cast of Super Smash Bros Brawl, and are a must have for any serious collector. I’m shipping worldwide, so come one come all and take advantage of this once in a lifetime opportunity!
Why am I posting this on Hijinks? Well, apart from the shameless self promotion and the Google traffic, these magazines are just part of a larger story that has yet to be told. Stay tuned for that.
So I haven’t posted in a while. No, I don’t blame this on the Wii, but more so on the fact that I still haven’t jail..break…ed (broke, broken?) my iPod Touch yet. In fact I surprised myself with how little I’ve been playing my new toy. The system I bought came with four games not counting Wii Sports, and I had bought Smash Bros Brawl right after I made my original purchase. I’ll break down my experience game by game.
Super Smash Bros Brawl
Probably my biggest mistake was playing this first. I loved the original Smash Bros on the N64, and I have many great memories of playing with three buddies hurling insults at each other as our little sprites hurled punches. Great time. I fired Brawl up only to realize that I had to play through the Subspace Emissary campaign to unlock the other half of the cast (not unexpected). Playing through the single player campaign was fun at first, then it got old, then it got boring, and now I just want to finish the freakin’ thing so I can unlock all the characters. Yeah, there’s a metric crap-ton of fan service in there, but 90% of it I don’t get and don’t care about. Just give me the full cast so I can not play it again until I have people to play it with.
Guitar Hero 3 Wii
I picked up the guitar, figured out how to secure the Wii Remote in the guitar, and fired up a song. Afterwhich I prompted shut it off. It’s fine, it’s Guitar Hero, and it’s nothing I haven’t played before.
Monster 4×4 World Tour This is a game in which you race monster trucks. That is what we term as a given. Seemingly the only reason why you would want to play this game is to be able to experience the glorious feeling of controlling your monster truck by twisting and turning the Wii Remote. Coincidentally enough, this experience is neither glorious nor a reason to play the game. I promptly put it up on eBay.
Tiger Woods PGA Tour 08 I read 1up’s review before I played the game, and they gave it a good score, mentioning that it was the best golf experience on Wii. Either I suck at golf games or the Wii has set a low bar of what is considered “the best”. Obviously I don’t suck at golf (I was the master at Microsoft Golf for Windows 95), so this game must not be any good. That’s what I’m telling myself anyway. Tiger joined the monster trucks on eBay.
Super Mario Galaxy If I could do it over I would have played this game first and not even tried the other games. I’m only 8 stars in, and this is definitely the reason I was looking for to justify my purchase. I love it, its amazing, I’ll be enjoying it for a long time.
So in a narrow victory, Super Mario Galaxy saves me from throwing the whole thing back on eBay for a ridicules profit. Hurray for Mario!
Today’s young men are overly feminized, indecisive, binge drinking good-for-nothings who need a backbone and a brain. Or so my grandpa might say. For those of us who endeavor to rise above that description and desire to achieve real manhood, Tom Chiarella has a few things we can work on to get there. My favorite?
29. Understand quantum physics well enough that he can accept that a quarter might, at some point, pass straight through the table when dropped.
Sometimes the laws of physics aren’t laws at all. Read The Quantum World: Quantum Physics for Everyone, by Kenneth W. Ford.
Followed closely by:
30. Feign interest. Good place to start: quantum physics.
It’s Esquire, so you know going in there will be questionable content in the general area. You’ve been warned.
So I got my iPod back today, and while the email I got on Monday told me Apple couldn’t reproduce my problem, just being in the factory must have done something because the dead spot is no more. The canned letter they sent back with it said that “The perceived fault may have been resolved as a consequence of the test procedure itself (internal iPod software update, reset and restore operations, etc).” Hey, whatever works, I’m sure not complaining.
I’ve never been much of a console gamer. The last console I owned was a Playstation, and I bought that a good three years after the PS2 came out. Before that I had owned an original NES, a Super NES, and an Nintendo 64 (all bought at least five years after they came out of course). Amazingly enough I’ve never considered myself a Nintendo fan until I just typed that out. My, the things we discover about ourselves.
Self-discovery aside, last weekend I decided to cash in my PSP and library of PSP games (farewell Crisis Core!) to get a Wii. Suffice to say I’ve been late to the video game party all my life, but after this latest purchase I feel like I’m up to date (only two years late! Yes!). I finally own a current system. The joy! The glee! The expensive games! Admittedly I bought it mostly for Smash Bros and Wii Sports, but the fact that Guitar Hero 3 and Mario Galaxy were bundled with the system I bought was not..unpleasurable.
The Wii isn’t a console for the hardcore gamer. Granted, it doesn’t need to be. After selling out for almost two years straight, the idea that the Wii is just a “fad” or a “trend” is less a theory and now more of a fanciful dream. Now that Nintendo has ironed out most of the kinks, the Wii is ensconced as the quintessential party system.
Did I mention I bought it so I could bring it to parties and play with my girlfriend? Whoops, I think I just fell into a large demographic.
After two days at the factory, Apple has informed me that they could not reproduce my problem. I knew I should have included brightly colored stickers and instructions. Now I’m stuck driving two hours to my nearest Apple store and hopefully having them replace my iPod for me.
In previous episodes we’ve seen how our intrepid (Apple) customer service reps have battled malfunctioning iPod Nanos and Macbook Pros, overcoming obstacles to please their ever needy customers (Aaron and I). In this installment we’ll face them with a new problem. What happens when you take the touch out of an iPod Touch? Find out after the jump.
If you have a drivers license, you’re probably painfully aware of the price you pay every time you fill up your tank. Catamount Software can’t solve the world’s energy crisis, but they at least offer a way to keep track of it all. MPG is an app that allows you to keep track of your fuel and service expense for multiple vehicles. True to its name it keeps track of your miles per gallon and updates the number every time you fill up. More after the jump.
I slacked off on posting the actual podcast until Aaron got fed up and stole my thunder. Anyhow, here’s the show notes that we stared at while we were talking about Hello Kitty and GTA IV. Be amazed at the amount of crap we can come up with with little to no material.
Show Notes - 4/27/08 Hijinks Ep. 1
Introductions
Aaron – Apple Rumors and scuttlebutt.
Dave – Entertainment: Sports, Movies.
Fred – Video Games, Reviews
Hijinks Inc Podcast: Why?
Make you feel better about yourself. Because compared to us, you’re
life is amazing.
Hijinks Report (where we talk about stuff on the website)
Fred: Crisis Core
Aaron: Hijinks Repo
Dave: Goal Line Blitz
News
Hello Kitty Laptops
GTA IV
Apple News
3G iPhone Rumors
iMac Revisions coming out Tuesday
Fred was supposed to post this, but he flaked. Oh well, I’ll let him redeem himself by posting the show notes.
I present to you with very little fanfare, the debut episode of the Hijinks Inc. Podcast! You can listen below, or subscribe via iTunes. To subscribe in iTunes, click the Advanced menu, then select Subscribe to Podcast and enter http://hijinksinc.com/podcasts/pod.xml.
